This song was written and is performed by John Young. It was recorded by him on cassete tape and then transferred by clydevalley.net to mp3 format. Some loss of quality is perhaps noticeable and we take the blame for that. Nevertheless the atmosphere and flavour remain.

The track lasts for 4 minutes. It is stored in mp3 format which will download and play on most computers. The size of the file is just under 4Mb. The download time may be long (many minutes) over a slow connection and most computers won't begin to play the song until it has downloaded completely. But it is worth waiting for. Click here to begin the download. You can also listen to a short extract of around 1 minute. And to increase your listening pleasure, John has supplied the words, below.

Transalvania Mania

In Romania, near Albania, no far fae Transalvania
Dwell Vampires, it tran-spires, with Satan they
con-spires
Blood red, they fed, in the castle of the un-dead
They had rabies, an scabies, they even ate wee babies
Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!

Count Dracular?s, vern-acular, was simply quite
spec-tac-ular
Gujerati, and Somali, and a little Hindu-stani
Through the smoke, he awoke, adorned a big black cloak
He took flight, in the night, to quench his evil
app-etite
Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!

To Stonis, he came uponis, the big yin tried to clone
us
With his incissors, he spied us, he tried to
liquid-ise us
He ate spiders, for appe-tisers, as he sunk his
tran-quil-isers
Chipolatees, red tomatees, he liked his mince an?
tatties
Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!

Doon the farm, there was alarm, when a chicken came
tae ha-rm
It clucked, as he plucked, as he licked his lips and
sucked
Spied a thief, doon be-neath, as he sharpened up his
teeth
Caught the burgular, by the jurgular, drank his blood
in a tum-balar
Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!

Blood dripped, as he slipped, and he walloped his heed
aff the crypt
Into his coffin, only haufin, he suddenly started
morphin
From a cat, to a rat, Dracula turned into a bat
What a stunt, out to hunt, the evil bloody cu-ow-nt!
Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooooooo!(end)

© John Young.

John Young lives in Stonehouse and many of his songs are inspired by that town. He is a member of the Lanarkshire Songwriters.