by Ethyl Smith

Whitway did ah dae this? And whit made me think it wud be aw richt?

Aifter aw it's no as if ah'm usually that stupid.

Wan thing fur sure it's the straight and narra frae noo on, and nae arguin.

Tae tell the truth ah did think ah wis raither smairt. And ah did like it at first. Ah even thocht ah wis entitled tae feel clever. Aifter aw ah did it aw masel.

Me an ma big ego. Naw. Mair lik me and ma big heid.

If the Yoge maister hadna said ah wis his best pupil, maybe ah wud hae been content tae jist doddle alang lik the rest o the class.

Ye see, maist o them canna levitate at aw but there ah wis, clear o the flair, and floatin lik a dream. Ah suppose they wur a wee bit jealous when they saw me dain it week aifter week, nae bother.

Mind you the Yoge did say this kinda thing wis only fur class; whaur he could keep an eye like; ist in case.

If only ah'd listened, and no allooed masel tae git cairrit awa wi ma ain importance. Aye, ah jist hud tae go that bit further, go whaur nae man's gone afore, so tae speak, and try a full out of body experience on ma ain.

No that it wis difficult. An extra hauf hoor's meditation and twa extra mantras, and ah wis oot and awa as nice as ye like, and headin up here tae the ceilin.

Problem is ahm still here.

And aw the time ah can still see masel, at least ah can see ma body, doon there, streetched oot on the bed, jist as if ahm sleepin.

But ah'm no. Ahtm up here, worryin aboot gettin back doon. And ah've guid reason, fur ah dinna ken if ah can. Ye see, ah forgot tae look that bit up in ma manual, and it's too late noo.

Talk aboot bein wise aifter the event.

Jist suppose ahtm still up here come Tuesday, ah wunner if the Yoge'll miss me in class. Aye, he's bound tae notice fur ah'm aye there.

Nuthin surer, he's bound tae ask. And when naebody kens he'll realise somethin's up. Aye, and he kens ma address so he micht even come lookin fur me.

Aifter aw ahtm supposed tae be his star pupil.
And when he arrives and sees ma body Iyin doon there he'll unnerstaun whit's happened, and
ken whit tae dae. Aifter aw he's the expert.
But, whit if he doesna come?
Naw, don't even think it.
But, whit if he doesna?
Ah'm stuck, that's whit.
Noo, there's a thocht.
Forever and ever, maybe. Lik some kinda poetic justice. Serves me richt an aw that.
Talk aboot bein feart.
Oh dear, if only......................... Aye, if only ah'd never sterted this.

© Ethyl Smith

Ethyl Smith is a freelance writer and a member of Kirkmuirhill Writers. She is also a holistic therapist. For more news of Kirkmuirhill Writers see our noticeboard.